At 62, Golden Bachelorette Joan Vassos is as radiant and energetic as you’d expect, given the title. And while this transformative chapter of her life has centered around a second chance at love after tragic loss, it’s more than that. She’s a fiancée, an intentional friend, mother to 4 kids, and devoted daughter to her 92-year-old mom. But her preferred title right now? Grandmother! She’s fondly known as “Jojo” to her favorite little ones.
Movement Living co-founders and mother-daughter team Gabriela and Amanda joined Joan to talk about how she’s rolling with these changes, caring for herself, figuring out new relationships, and saying yes to everything―in between baking cookies with her grandkids. Not just in a season of “slowing down,” there’s plenty she’s still learning! With warmth, authenticity, and a vibrant energy, Joan shares the joys and honest challenges of falling in love again (hope isn’t enough―you have to take action), navigating being a grandmother (but not taking a backseat!), health and wellness, and how connection is everything.
Listen to the full Movement Living Podcast episode, or read on to get to know more about the lively, lovely Joan. We guarantee you’ll be inspired to live well, age better, and put yourself out there.
Hope is Not a Plan
Amanda June Giannakos (Movement Living co-founder): There are many women who are probably in the situation you were in previously, where you felt like you were ready to find love but you weren’t really sure where to start, or even what the next steps to take would be. Barring applying for The Golden Bachelor, do you have any advice for those women? I’ve heard you say, ‘Hope isn’t enough―you have to take action!’
Joan Vassos: That is so true! Hope is not a plan. I tried it, and it doesn’t work. I hoped that somebody would introduce me to like, ‘that great guy that lives down the street’ or ‘the great guy that your husband worked with or you work with.’ I hoped that I would meet somebody at a wedding organically, or at a restaurant. It doesn’t happen like that for anybody I know … or very few people. So you have to take action. That first step is really really the hardest!
Fortune Favors the Bold
Amanda: What would you say is your current vision to live well and age better?
Joan: I have this philosophy that fortune favors the bold. And I’ve never been a particularly bold person. I lived in a really comfortable time. I had a husband who did well, we raised our kids together, and I had this really comfortable life. That was blown up when he passed away, and I kind of took on a different philosophy for life … I felt like I could live it small, and probably be very, very happy doing that. I would be a mom and a grandmother, I would have my friends, and I would live in this little world that I had existed in for a long time for a long time.
Or, I could do something really bold … kind of shake up my life … and see what that got me.
When I was younger I was always very, very afraid to go out and publicly speak or be the center of attention. And then I got on the show, and I had to do that on The Golden Bachelor. I had to do the talent show, and I was terrified … I tried to figure out how to get out of it. I thought, ‘I’m going to fake an illness. I’m just going to say I can’t do it, I’m sick’ or whatever! Then I was like, ‘Nope, you’ve got to do it.’ And I did, and it’s helped me overcome a lot of other fears. Now, I’m not nervous talking. I did that runway modeling thing a few weeks ago. I was on Jimmy Kimmel Live! I’ve done things that would have terrified me. There’s no way I would have said yes to any of these things, and now I say yes to everything, and I’m not even nervous.
Getting over the hump of doing things that make you uncomfortable is the best thing you can do. Do it early. Do it as soon as you can.
“I could do something really bold … kind of shake up my life … and see what that got me.”
A Single in a Couples World
Gabriela Schonbach (Movement Living co-founder): I love what you said about being on The Golden Bachelor, that you would support each other … there’s plenty of fish, you know!
Joan: You find out in life as you get older that this world is kind of made of couples. And when you’re a single at this age you’re kind of out on an island by yourself, it’s lonely. Even though I have a million friends, almost all of them are married, so you get excluded from all of the couple activities. Occasionally, I have a few couples that would still ask me to go out, and even though I was a third wheel I didn’t care … they were close enough friends. And I’m still friends with the women, you know … I’d go out with girls. But they go home to their husbands, and I would go home to an empty house.
So to have a group of women [on The Golden Bachelor] … all of these 21 other women that were living in the same house as me, they were like my tribe! We were strangers when we walked into that house, but we immediately bonded because we had this commonality. We lived in this world of couples as singles. They got what it was like to be the odd number at the table at the wedding, and to not be invited to any couples’ vacations. You know, everybody is in Aruba together, and you’re at home. And you introduced all those people, and you know all of them, but they just don’t think of you … you’re not a couple anymore.
[For single women], seek out other singles if you don’t have a lot in your life. I had hardly any in my life. Most of my friends were happily married. You need a friend that is similar to you, but still don’t shy away from doing the couple things. So say yes and go to those weddings. Say yes and go to those fundraisers. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable walking into the wedding by yourself, walking into the fundraiser by yourself, walking into the meeting by yourself. Whatever you have to do. Acknowledge and accept that you’re going to be uncomfortable in the beginning, but you need to find your tribe of other single people.
I’m all about my connections. I connect with my friends all the time. I send text messages, I call, I make plans with them. They do the same thing with me! I have a big, big friend community. To have good friends, you have to be a good friend.
“Acknowledge and accept that you’re going to be uncomfortable in the beginning, but you need to find your tribe of other single people.”
Not a “Proper” Grandmother
Gabriela: Can you talk a little bit more about your role as a grandmother? How has it changed your life, and what are the joys and the difficulties of that?
Joan: [My kids] expected me to be like [their] grandmother was. My mom was over at my house every day, and interacted with the kids, helped them do their homework. I was so lucky. My mother-in-law worked for most of their lives, but when she wasn’t working she was always over.
I’m very different. I didn’t know that I was going to be this way, but my life took this weird turn. I lost my husband, and I did expect to be a grandparent with him. We were going to take the kids to Disney World … and when you don’t have a partner doing it with you it’s harder. It’s hard for me to babysit three of my grandkids. It’s hard for me to even babysit the 5 year old and the 1 year old. I don’t love to do it to be honest. I feel really guilty about that. I feel like I’m not being a proper grandmother. I see them all the time. Two of them live with me (with my daughter and my son-in-law), and then my other daughter lives 20 minutes down the road … but I’m not the grandmother they expected me to be, and I still do feel a little guilty about it.
But I also looked at my life … I feel like I have hopefully 30 years left, and I decided I didn’t want to do it alone. I wanted to find my person. I thought I had a second chance at love, a second life possibly to live.
Non-Negotiables For a New Relationship
Amanda: Obviously you and your fiancé, Chock, are bringing a lot of relationship experience to the table. I’m really interested to know if there are any non-negotiables that you have, and more about your experience of navigating building a new relationship while both bringing so much experience.
Joan: I don’t think either [Chock or I] came in with a notion of ‘this is the way it has to be.’ We were both kind of mushy on it. We were feeling each other out a little bit, but both of us came with the idea that our families were the most important―they’re our priority.
But we’re also really, really, really conscious of making sure we always have a visit on the books, a time that we’re going to spend with each other, usually about every two weeks. We’re really good about comparing our calendars, making sure we have flights. We make sure that our relationship doesn’t slide.
Even though we have other priorities … he still has a company that he owns and is in charge of, I do a lot of stuff now on my own that I got from The Bachelor … we have busy lives so we have to make our relationship a priority.
He has a thing that he says to me every night before I go to sleep. He says, ‘Is there anything I can do to make your life easier?’ It’s like the nicest thing that somebody could ask you!
“Even though we have other priorities, we have to make our relationship a priority.”
Not Ready to Take a Back Seat!
Amanda: I think that a lot of women might feel like they want to do things for themselves, but have a sense of guilt. They have this view from their mothers, or friends, about what it means to be a grandmother. Even making the time to just work out—that can feel like it’s “too much.”
Joan: There’s a whole view that as you get older, the next generation is moving in and we’re starting to take a back seat … our careers are not as important anymore, our free time isn’t as valuable anymore. You know? You’re raising kids and buying homes, progressing in your careers, you’re busy, and we should be taking a backseat and be in a support role. But we’re not there … because we are still in our careers, and we are still doing exciting things. We’re traveling, we have our health, and guess what, we get technology! And we are okay. We’re not ready to take that backseat yet.
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Listen to the full conversation with Joan on The Movement Living Podcast.
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After her time was cut short on the inaugural season of The Golden Bachelor, Joan Vassos, the 62-year-old grandmother and school administrator from Rockville, Maryland, began her own journey for new love in her historic role as the first Golden Bachelorette. The fan favorite brought her signature grace and charm as she embarked on the search for her next person, finding Chock, and showcasing that everyone is worthy of more than just a second chance at love.
Joan is a remarkable woman whose life has been defined by her resilience, zest for adventure, and strong family values. It was those family values that led to her heartbreaking decision to leave The Golden Bachelor, self-eliminating after a medical concern with her daughter arose. Despite that and other challenges she’s faced along the way—including the heartbreaking loss of her husband after 32 years of marriage—Joan remains an embodiment of strength and grace as a devoted mother of four, grandmother, and school administrator, while finding solace in the music of Elton John, spending time with her dog, and cooking. Now, as she moves ahead from the golden spotlight and begins the next chapter of her journey with Chock, Joan envisions a future filled with shared moments by the beach and cherished time with family. Follow along with her here!
