Rediscovering your purpose, having time to yourself, and finding new joys and strengths once your kids grow up―that can be an exciting time. But before you fully embrace what’s next, you may need to go through a little bit of grief.
When you allow yourself to feel the loss of your little ones, the mother you used to be, and the time you had with them under the same roof, then you can move forward with open arms and a clear perspective. And there’s so much still to come!
Take a peek into a recent conversation between Movement Living cofounders Amanda and Gab, and the women behind Life After Kids, Drs. Brooke Stillwell and Lynne Mouw.
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Dr. Brooke (Life After Kids): Every mom is a little bit different, and every mom is going to handle the empty nesting phase of life differently. One thing that we have always done is to see and celebrate the differences in other women.
Some skate through it, but for the majority of moms, at least in our community, many haven’t had that aha moment of finding new purpose. They don’t know what they want to do next. But the real starting point of what they need to work through, before they can even get to start defining their purpose, is a little bit of mourning.
Frankly, I think we all go through a mourning phase. We’re mourning our kids’ childhood―what was―and that piece of ourselves that is never going to look the same. Because we’ll always be moms, right? But we’re never going to mother them in the same way. And in most cases we’ve raised them for 18 plus years with the knowledge that we wanted them to be independent, healthy adults, living outside of our homes, but when they leave our homes it changes our identity. It changes everything. And if we don’t allow ourselves the space and the time to grieve that and go through that mourning process, I think we could be very susceptible to picking up something, anything, to do with our lives. It’s just a Band-Aid for not allowing ourselves to acknowledge those feelings and know that they’re real and normal. And it’s okay to feel them.
Dr. Lynne (Life After Kids): Just like anything you’re grieving, you finally get to that place where you accept it. ‘This is it. This is where life is going to be for me.’
Then, how can we ignite that fire, that passion, that fuel inside of you now to fight for all that can be good in this space? Find something that really taps into your values, your passions, and your strengths … something that you can do for yourself. Inside of that intersection you can do good work beyond raising your family. You’ll unlock this whole new level of enjoyment and fulfillment. That’s what we want for the women in our community! And some of our favorite humans (grandkids!) haven’t even been born yet. I like to remember that. There’s so much to look forward to!
Amanda (Movement Living): That’s so consistent with the change in our culture that we want to help make happen. As women get older, there’s this sense that they’re becoming invisible … not as important, not as able to contribute. We hear this from women all the time. I don’t know if that resonates with what you hear as well. But it’s just absolutely not true.
This is a time in women’s lives where they have so much experience, so much knowledge, and so many strengths. They have so much to offer! And it just gets me so excited to think that there are women who, like you said, maybe haven’t had that aha moment yet. Maybe they haven’t realized that the next season of their life can be one where there’s so much purpose, and they’re able to create and build beautiful things like you both have done. And I just get so excited about the possibility of that.
Dr. Brooke (Life After Kids): It’s an exciting time to be a woman. There’s so many examples of women starting at things later in life and already doing amazing things. There’s never been, in my mind, a better time to forge a new path for ourselves and to stand in our strengths!
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Friends for over 20 years, Dr. Lynne Mouw & Dr. Brooke Stillwell have shared all seasons of life with each other including births, losses of loved ones, career changes and growth, and health improvements and losses. They’ve learned together, laughed together, cried together, and grown together, and are passionate about being proactive with all aspects of health and showing up as their best, most engaged self every day. Their goal is to help you live your healthiest, most vibrant life by cultivating more purpose, sharing health tips with practical wellness advice, and having honest conversations about the next phase of life―Life After Kids. Follow along with them on Instagram.
